Kindness

I really want to write something profound, and meaningful, but for the last half hour, everything i typed has sounded angstful, and mean. Which really bugs me, because i really try my best not to be. I try to be a good person, every day, I try to perform one small act of kindness. Today’s act of kindness, was when i walked down to the motel lobby. An elderly woman was standing behind me, and as soon as I’d poured mine, and turned around and poured hers. Not much, right? But to see the look on her face, it was priceless. That’s the kind of thing that makes my day. Just seeing how happy you can make a person, is a beautiful sight. I’ve never really wanted to get into humanitarian work, but I’ve been seriously considering it lately. I want to make an impact in this world, not on a billion people, not on a million people. Just a handful of changed lives would be worth it to me. I been diagnosed as having a Savior complex. I can see it. I’ve always been one to bite off more than i can chew, especially when it comes to trying to help people. But maybe, that isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe i can start using it for the right reasons. Not trying to fix other people mental woes, but fixing someones real life, physical problems. I think i want to join the Peace Corps.

Maybe not for my whole life, but at least for a good five to ten years. I want to make a real, honest difference from now on, for people that really need it. That’s what I’m going to do. I honestly hope they send me somewhere incredibly dangerous. Somewhere i have a high risk of death, while still helping. That sounds awful now that i type it out, but it’s the truth. I don’t necessarily want to die, but i just don’t want to be alive anymore, ya feel me? At least if i died doing something honest, and worth while, I’d be memorable. I’ve never been one to want a meaningful life, but rather, a marvelous death. I should have been born a martyr. I want my death to mean something, and affect people in a positive way. I want it to open peoples eyes to the truths of the world. I just need to stop rambling, it’s bugging me. I can’t even form a full thought at the moment. Thus concludes my second ridiculous post of the day. Keep up the good work, my beautiful people.